DAYS GONE BY
by callamikaela
Summary: Hermoine wanders the hills of Hogwarts, her world has been turned upside down, and she can not escape the pain that is destroying her life. Yet comfort comes from an unlikely source.
1. Chapter 1

**DAYS GONE BY**

The sounds of celebration had disappeared from the hills of Hogwarts. Just a few short hours before, the resonance of laughter, joy, happiness and music had rung out into the surrounding landscape. The wizarding world was celebrating the 6th anniversary of the defeat of Voldemort.

It had been two days straight of non-stop partying, drinking, eating and general merriment with family and friends for Hermione. As the transfiguration professor it was one of the few times a year that she got to spend quality time with Harry and the Weasley's.

Generally Hermione lived a busy life full of teaching and preparing lesson plans, head of house responsibilities and research into her new pet project.

Yet it was times like this that Hermione dreaded the most. As she walked by Hadgrid's hut in the stillness of the sunset it all came rushing back. The pain, hurt, and anger shouting within her head screaming to be let out.

WHY, why had everyone else been able to move on? Live their lives and be genuinely happy. Why did they all have someone, someone to love, someone to care for, and someone to share their pain?

Hermione knew that Harry and the Weasley's missed Ron. But they did not rely on him to be their pillar of strength. They all could get on with their lives remembering him and cherishing those times of joy.

For Hermione it was different her pain was a constant ache that never eased. Not only did she mourn for Ron, but felt deep hypocrisy burning within her very being. After witnessing Bellatrix murder her first love, Hermione the great campaigner for the fair treatment of all magical creatures turned her wand and with no hesitation caste the unforgivable 'AVADA KADARVA'. She watched the life leave Bellatrix's eyes and felt nothing but absolute hatred and revenge.

This questioned all she felt she was and stood for.

… Hermione's feet kept taking her to where she did not know, nor care and it was not till exhaustion took over that she sat down. The sun had long set; a chill was coming into the air. In the stillness she could not run, nor hide. It was moments like this that she yearned for days gone by.

As Hermione lay on the cold, damp ground she could sense another lone figure wandering the hills of Hogwarts. There was only one other person who walked the hills in solitude. As Hermione glanced in his direction he nodded in acknowledgement. It was their unspoken rule that they did not talk or interrupt each other's loneliness. Each had their own hell and neither knew how to escape.

Yet tonight felt different somehow, whether it was the crickets singing their lonely lament, or the early autumn breeze on an unexpected summer night, neither could tell. For the first time in three years of being colleagues, Professor Snape spoke breaking the silence.

"I see the boy wonder was able to break himself away from the throngs of adoring fans."

Severus was glad to have escaped the confines of the castle. Minerva would have done better to place him in a full body bind than expect him to circulate and mingle with the castle guests at the anniversary celebrations.

Severus was not a social man; he left that to the likes of Potter. He might have been a recipient of Order of Merlin, First Class. Yet it did not stop the suspicious looks, the glares of mistrust and hatred. This coming ironically from the majority of the wizarding world that was not present at the final battle.

So Severus stuck to his corner of the room glaring at anyone who ventured within talking distance. Professor Snape preferred the company of a glass of old Ogden's finest whiskey and the odd interaction with a Malfoy or the boy wonder himself.

After the sun had set Severus ventured off to harvest the magical fungi pe'nance. This fungus was bright red with bursts of blinding white at the base, only opened on the waxing moon of August. He knew she would be out wandering. She had taken to walking the hills more and more often. The pain he saw in her eyes haunted him, as he knew it well, self-hatred. Many thought she was still mourning the loss of Ron, yet Severus knew instinctively that it was more.

Nonetheless a big part of Severus felt why should I care. I have done my part for the wizarding world. The last thing she needs is my self-loathing feeding into her own. Contaminating each other. But what is it they say, "Misery loves company".

"I see the boy wonder was able to break himself away from the throngs of adoring fans."

Hermione ignored him, as she knew he was trying to bait her. Yet there was a slight warmth slowly growing up from her toes, encompassing her whole body. For the first time in three years something felt real. Snapes sarcasm was real. Nothing had changed with him. He was still the same sour, sarcastic, bitter, spiteful man he had always been. He had been a bully the day Hermione first met him and remained one to this very day.

This pulled her back to a place, which she longed for. A time that was full of innocence. It reminded her of days gone by.


	2. Chapter 2

Horrors of the Night 

Anything that sounds familiar and amazing belongs to the genius of JK Rowling. All the other stuff is mine but would be nothing without her world.

"_Run, run Hermione." Ron yelled at the top of his voice._

_It was impossible to see, a thick smoke was hanging in the air. The final battle had been ongoing for 6 hours and Hermione was starting to feel the pains of exhaustion. Ron and her had so far been unscathed as they fired off hex and spell._

_Ron screamed at the top of his lungs "duck the staircase," then grabbed her arm and pulled her into a corner hidden from a fallen banister. "Ron, I don't know how much further I can keep this up, I can't go on." Tenderly taking Hermione in his arms he gently stroked her cheek and looking straight into her soul he quietly whispered, "It's for __our__ future."_

_In this very moment there was no battle, no screams of pain, no smell of death. There were two people deeply connected, inseparable, of one heart and one mind. "Ron, thank you" Hermione whispered into Ron's chest._

"_Now Hermione on the count of three follow my lead." "One, two, three run." The two ran out to the left, Ron tripped over a body taking Hermione with him, without looking to see if it was one of there own, they struggled up only to be hit by an unknown death eater " stupefy" Hermione fired back, hitting the death eater square in the chest._

_They knew they were heading back into the thick of it; lights from wands were flying overhead. Hermione felt a quiet thankfulness to her parents for being short. Being vertically challenged had its benefits, yet she was amazed at what a mind could think off at a time of such intensity._

"_Drop and roll." Ron fired back. Hermione knew what to do; they had practised this hundreds of times. "Ron remember your shield." Each dropped; Hermione cast a stunner of to the right paralysing Dolohov. Ron finished it off with a body bind. The death eaters were getting desperate, some now had thrown off their masks. Hermione spun on her knees to see Bella pointing her wand at Ron. A look was plastered on her face similar to that on a child's face on Christmas morning. Bella started to chant, "potty's best friend, potty's best friend."_

Hermione willed herself to wake up. She knew what was about to happen, she had witnessed this nightmare hundreds of times. Yet her mind would not cooperate.

"_Potty's best friend, potty's best friend." The taut was getting louder and louder yet the voice of the battle diminished into the background._

"_Ahha ha ha, I win." Cackled Bella as she shot out a stream of green light "Avada kadarva." Hermione started to scream unconsciously realising that not only was it her dream self, but also her physical self. She spun on the spot and without a second thought directed her wand on a rejoicing Bella and whispered with the deepest venom that she could muster "Avada Kadarva."_

Hermione's eyes flung open, it was always at this point that she woke. She was drenched in sweet and felt like she had played beater for England in the Qudditch World Cup Final. Whispering to Crookshanks she passed by "well I'm not getting anymore sleep now, I might as well get ready for the day."

"Hermione did you sleep well?" asked Professor Vector, as Hermione slipped into her seat at the staff breakfast table. Professor Vector was wearing a ghastly bright yellow teaching robe, and was as bubbly and bright as the robes. "What a glorious morning, the sun is shinning and the birds are chirping."

"Sickly" Hermione coughed into her napkin. "Excuse me did you say something," replied Professor Vector. "Ahem sugar, can you please pass the sugar." At this moment Professor Hooch interrupted "Hermione you are looking just terrible, you need some sun why don't you come flying with me."

"Don't you know Hermione at all, she is terrified of flying." Minerva McGonagal intercepted. "Now my dear, how is your research going?" "Well it is going, I'm just not sure which direction. I read the article you recommended by Professor Walker…" Consciously aware that Vector and Hooch were still discussing her worn appearance in the background. "Thanks Minerva for your insight, well I better get on, no rest for the wicked."

Minerva watched as her ex-student and dear friend walked slowly away and wiped a tear from her eye. Speaking to no one, unaware that someone was listening, murmured, "I wish the nightmares would stop."

As Hermione went throughout her day she was exhausted from being harassed from the entire faculty at every turn, being asked, "how are you" in a myriad of different scenarios.

It was with relief and intrepedation that she opened the door to her rooms. Relief to be finally on her own, and fear of another night of horror.

Her eye was drawn towards a bottle lying on the hearth. Her heart skipped a beat as she picked it up, slowly raising it to her nose. The light fragrance of sunflowers gently hitting her nose. Hermione turned the label to reveal 'dreamless sleep potion'.


End file.
